My hands are on your back my friend, you got this!
Really simple words that have a lot of power. This is the type of friend we love to have and we should strive to be. Gone are the competitive friends who constantly need to be one-upping you. Gone are the discouraging friends who point out your weaknesses and flaws. Gone are the friends who make you an option and never a priority. Instead, let us learn to be that “hands on your back” friend who can applaud you, sit with you, and walk through life with you.
The “hands on your back friends” are the ones who get in the trenches with you to sit and pull you up when you are ready.
"If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up." Ecclesiastes 4:10
I remember a story a woman told me about the days that followed after her husband had left her. She fell into a serious depression of days of crying and unable to get out of bed. One day, her sweet friend who knew what she was battling, came over, climbed into her bed, and held her while she cried. And later, she helped her get ready for the day. The friend could not change the situation, but she could sit in heartache and gently help her stand on her own two feet. As a friend, we don’t need to have an answer to every situation; sometimes our silent presence is all that is needed.
The “hands on your back friends” are the ones who applaud you over the finish line.
"Anyone who withholds kindness from a friend forsakes the fear of the Almighty." Job 6:14
There is nothing worse than dealing with a friend who is jockeying with you. Whether at work, school, or home, the last thing we should be doing is figuring out ways to pass each other in life. We can be better than that. Do you have a friend trying to lose weight, don’t invite them over for cake as a subtle sabotage. Instead, offer them something to eat that’s in their plan. Have a friend who bought a fancy car? No, you do not need a fancier newer model. Have a friend who is graduating from school? No, you do not need to tell them about your third cousin who graduated with a better GPA. Be better than that. Applaud their successes without offering a comparison of your own. Champion their victories to the end.
The “hands on your back friends” are the ones push you through those difficult journeys.
"Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ." Galatians 6:2
There are some journeys in life that are so difficult, without “hands on your back” friends, you become frozen unable to move forward. I saw this in action with my brother and sister in law. They walked through one of the worst journeys a parent can experience – having their child go through two cancer diagnoses within a few years. I imagine there were times they felt frozen, not sure what to do or how they could endure the day. But almost each day, a “hands on your back” friend sent a text, made a meal, gave a gift card, said a prayer, or offered some type of encouragement. Each moment was a “hands on your back” gentle push saying, “You got this,” “You are strong enough,” and “We are with you.”
I get teary eyed when I think of this story, because it speaks so powerfully of the beauty of real friendship. It may make you teary eyed for a different reason, perhaps you feel you do not have these types of friends in your life. Let me encourage you in this—start by being this type of friend first. Don’t let pride prevent you from taking the first step. Second, Jesus knows our need for good friendships. Begin to pray and ask him to connect you with others. You may be surprised who God brings into your life!
Love and peace!
